DBT Peer Connections

Building Hope, Community and Skillful Means


1 Comment

Beautiful Borderline: CD of Original Songs about DBT & BPD

The following stream of songs are from a conceptual music CD I wrote, recorded, mixed, mastered, produced and published myself. The original compositions reflect my journey of recovery from borderline personality disorder. The title track is written for, sung to, and dedicated to all my peeps out there with BPD. Music is the language of emotion. With it and the help of dialectical behavior therapy I am learning to accept, express, and, yes, even love my emotions. 

Pinki Tuscaderro aka Rachel Gill

Advertisements


Leave a comment

From Poetry to Wise Mind: A Book Of Poems, A DBT Journey

Generic cover imageFrom Poetry to Wise Mind

$5.50

Buy Now button<code></code>

From Poetry to Wise Mind is the first self-published book and collection of poems by Rachel Gill (aka Pinki Tuscaderro). It is a creative reflection of her journey toward recovery from borderline personality disorder (BPD). The central theme that defines the poems demonstrates how using poetry is an effective means to apply dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills from a wise mind perspective. The collection is heart-felt and deeply personal. Support a starving poet and mental health advocacy!

NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR:

This project is a little different from the DBT worksheets, videos, articles and essays that I create and distribute to my DBT/BPD peer community. The main message behind the poems is that of hope, particularly for people who struggle with emotional problems and their friends and family. Poetry is the language of emotion so it makes sense that it would be an effective means for expressing difficult emotions that tend to have loaded cultural and personal associations of morality attached to them like fear, shame, guilt, and sadness. Poetry allows the writer and the audience to observe and perceive stigmatized emotions as an experience rather than as a character reference.

The inspiration to re-discover my life long love of poetry writing happened while attending a mindfulness training in 2013 with Dr. Marsha Linehan (The founder of DBT). She read pieces from Song of the Bird by Anthony de Mello and it struck me how well poetry communicates complicated qualities of emotions. After writing a few poems, it was amazing how writing added a completely new dimension to my skills practice, particularly for emotional processing, which is a current focus of mine as a stage 2/3 client in dialectical behavior therapy.

When I write, sing, play guitar my emotional intensity transforms from a shameful product of stigma to an admirable form of creative expression. It is a synthesis of dialectical tension that creates a space where I can learn to love and let go of hating the wildly difficult nature of my emotions. Inspiration moves me to soothe myself without resistance. Therefore, I stop attempting to regulate and control my emotions  and instead respect them, listen to them, allow them to be.

– Rachel Gill aka Pinki Tuscaderro


Leave a comment

An Ode to Suicide Prevention

Will power & independence is not = 2 Healing.

Denying

      Distress

         Destroys

Smile grumpy. Why do you always look so sad?

Tears

     Fall

         Like a body

2 prevent suicide you must be willing 2 face pain.

Tell me

     how you

  feel now

You seem troubled lately. My heart & ears are open.

Together

     they  embrace

             acceptance

Pain is endurable when one feels loved, supported.


Leave a comment

Radical for Acceptance

Like prickly, stickily anger
I experience rage more painful than
Barbed wire bracelets and carnivorous kisses
Crisis calls to fear that looms over me
Like a grizzled shadow, stalking storm clouds, chasing rain.
And I with a fist clenched wrench on a cobbler’s bench
Hammer intensity absent-mindedly into leather soles of
Secondary emotional insulation that cushions
My steps in blistering experiential avoidance

Ouch!

Sifted, drifted, halted, lifted
This fevered irregularity of burning mood & might
Echoes the magnitude of my emotive plight
Through restless sleep and soiled treats
Nightmarish alleys and homeless streets
Sad, anxious, Fear, spins in my brain
Like a drunken flash on a crashing plane

So, on with her head
I think therefore I will accept and
Shed all this suffering so long I have kept
Inward, outward, these emotions flow
Then to my head, a deafening blow

Darn!

My left ear rings, off the hook for a week
My balance wavers upon unsteady feet
Not cool, not cool at all, that I beat me up.
Stop-now
Breathe-slow
Slow-down

Now

I am willing, able, and radical for acceptance.
So, I look to self-validate, for a more effective way
To cope with this fire that would fuel shame
Courage I must gather day in and day out
Dialectical abstinence, softens my shout

How

Poetry is soap that cleanses my skin
Rinses my pain, lets compassion in
Art is the key that unlocks my devotion
And in my breath hovers life infinite as
The power of emotion


1 Comment

Falling With Not From Grace

Forward bound
Shaky ground
Lengthened
Strengthened
Falling down

Growth hurts
Success skirts in
Failing, hailing
Spotless shirts

The Tide is Strong
The Road is Long

And

Giving all not up
is where I belong

Adventures of Stick Man